


Consequences

by Windian



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Canon Divergence, Dezel has to face up to what he did to Rose without getting a free pass out of it, Gen, it's not gonna be a good time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6685195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windian/pseuds/Windian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dezel learns the taste of revenge is bitter, not sweet. Rose isn't inclined to forgive.</p><p>A canon divergence one-shot where Dezel's revenge plot against Symmone is a success, and he's left to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequences

He'd dreamed of this day for so long. His revenge complete, his friend avenged, Dezel imagined the elation and triumphant satisfaction he'd feel. The bitch who took everything from him would finally have a taste of her own medicine, and…

And yet, as Dezel sits by Rose's side, still unconscious after two days, he feels only a deafening emptiness.

It would have been one thing if it were him, but Rose wasn't supposed to have got hurt.

He straightens as she shifts in her sleep. He's never seen Rose's face, couldn't tell you the colour of her eyes, yet he knows her. She's never known him, but he knows her: ever since the day Brad brought home the scruffy orphan child he'd caught with a hand in his pocket. He knows how she talks in her sleep. How she never gives up. He knows what few others know— that her smile is sometimes a carefully painted veneer, and her laughter a hastily placed bandage to mask old wounds.

Rose's hand clenches on a fistful of blanket, grimacing at the pain of her wound, and Dezel could cry aloud in relief. He reaches out to push a fallen lock of her hair from out of her eyes.

Yet although he knows all these things about her, Dezel does not expect the way Rose's eyes snap open, her hand seizing his wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asks him, and he doesn't have to see her to feel the daggers she's shooting at him with her eyes.

"I didn't mean to startle you—"

"Startle, my ass." She smacks his hand away with a slinging slap, wincing as she pushes herself up in the bed. "Don't you dare touch me."

He swallows. He's known this conversation was inevitable, yet somehow he'd hoped... what had he hoped? "This is because of what that bitch Symmone said, isn't it?" 

He can still hear the poisonous words she'd hissed- _In_ _his quest to kill a hellion, he set his sights on the power of the armatus, using you over and over again as a vessel to enact his vengeance. It was alright, he thought. It was all to avenge his friend. I do wonder if you_ _'_ _ll agree_ _—_

"Rose, she was a snake. She was trying to break our bonds and pull us apart," Dezel protests, teeth gritted.

"So, you're telling me she was lying?" asks Rose.

"That's—"

"Tell me something Dezel. Why did I have to wait for an agent of _Heldalf_ to tell me the truth? Why did everyone know but _me_?"

His anger and frustration, always close to the surface, starts to simmer. "Look—" he growls, "I didn't want to jeopardise the Shepherd's mission, okay? He needed our help."

"Bullshit," says Rose. "You've never cared about Sorey's journey as the Shepherd. All you ever cared about is your stupid revenge. I was nothing to you but a puppet." The words are biting. Cold, impenetrable ice, though even as she pushes her legs off the bed she winces. Instinctively, Dezel reaches to steady her, and her voice cracks as she says, "Don't. Touch. Me."

Her arms wrap around herself, and it's him who's done this. _He_ _'_ _s_ hurt her. He hurt his friend and destroyed the Windriders and now he's hurt her too. He's a blight on everyone he's ever loved, a fucking piece of trash. He's fucking worthless, because even now he can't stop himself from making goddamn excuses.

"That's not true, Rose. I care about you," he says, the words a rumble from deep in his chest. "Gods, I care about you. I've known you since you joined the Windriders as a child." Even then, she'd had that _spark_ about her. Even if she couldn't speak with him, nor even see him, he'd watched over her. "When I thought you would be killed, because of my mistake…" his nails bite, tight, into the skin of his palms.

But Rose is ice, unmoved. "It's a little too late, Dezel. If that's true, then why didn't you say anything? How was I supposed to know?"

"There was never time—"

"That's bullcrap and you know it," Rose says.

"What on earth was I supposed to say?" he growls. How could he have explained any of it? _You mean everything to me but to you I_ _'_ _m just a stranger._

"Something," says Rose. "Anything. You could have _tried_ , Dezel."

The patchwork of excuses he's made of his life is beginning to untangle. He opens his mouth, frustration coming to boil in his chest, and closes it.

Because there's no way to excuse what he's done, and Rose is right: it's all far too late.

She crosses her arms against him. Tells him, "I don't want to see you right now. Get out."

Somehow, it has never occurred to Dezel the consequences of living for revenge. Because, what is he supposed to live for now?

* * *

"Wouldn't it be easier just to forgive him? Maybe?" As he speaks, Sorey's eyes shine with his bright earnestness.

It's been a week since her recovery, and the group is on the way to the Wind Shrine. Rose finds she can't blame Sorey for his frustration. Since she threw Dezel out of her room, she's been too angry to speak one word with him. Dezel, for his part, has skulked along quietly with the group, following Rose like a kicked dog.

She wonders if he's hoping she'll feel so sorry for him and his pathetic behaviour that she'll have no choice to forgive him.

The campfire crackles, Mikleo leaning over to stir tonight's dinner, bubbling in the pot. Edna lounges back, torturing the normin doll on her umbrella. Lailah has been quiet this evening, sorting through their inventory. Dezel is… somewhere, but Rose doubts he's gone far.

It's the thing that's on everyone's lips— certainly, it would be easier if she'd agree to armatize with Dezel again, and yet—

"I'm sorry, Sorey, but no."

It would be easier, and yet when Rose thinks of how the seraph used her body, she can't stop the bile from rising up her throat. For years, she'd experienced blank spots in her memory, to the point where she'd begun to wonder if she was going crazy. Her friends had always teased her for her fear of ghosts, yet Rose couldn't swallow down the feeling that crawled across her skin— that there was something out there, watching her. Even now, that sensation still squirms on her body like goosebumps.

She feels violated. Used.

"He's trying really hard to make amends," Mikleo says, setting his spoon down.

"I noticed," is all Rose says, unimpressed. How many times now has Dezel recklessly dived in front of an attacking enemy for her, taking the brunt of their artes? It's as though he intends on repaying her in blood.

"I know he feels sorry about everything," Sorey tells her.

"Funny. He's never apologised to me. All he's given me are excuses about why he did it."

Sorey leans forward, an idea striking him. "So if Dezel apologised to you, then…"

"It's not that simple, Sorey."

He deflates. No one says the words, but Rose feels it. The silent accusation that she's being selfish. After all, if she forgave Dezel, they could all continue on as usual. Pretend this whole mess never happened.

But she never asked for a guardian angel.

Lailah has been noticeably silent this entire conversation, her attention fully on her cataloguing.

"Maybe if—" Sorey begins, but Rose has heard enough.

"Maybe nothing, Sorey. Now listen to me. I'm sorry for making things awkward for everyone, but I won't apologise for my feelings. Dezel isn't sorry for what he's done. The only thing he's sorry for is that he got caught. He had plenty of chances to come clean to me before Heldalf's friggen henchman spilled the beans. Did he? No. And while I'm at it, none of you said anything, either."

Everyone around the fire goes quiet. She looks from Sorey's wide eyes to Mikleo, shifting nervously, to Edna, unconcerned. To Lailah, whose hands flinch closed.

"You all knew what Dezel had been doing to me, and none of you said a thing."

She watches Sorey exchange a guilty look with Mikleo, biting his lip. "We just… didn't want to upset you," he says, and Mikleo nods.

Her gaze softens slightly. "I know you didn't, Sorey." It's hard to be mad at Sorey of all people. Even if he'd been misguided, what he'd done hadn't been ill-intentioned. "But all the same, I needed to know. I'm your partner, so you need to trust me, and talk to me. Even about difficult things. If we don't, Heldalf and his cronies are going to use it against us like they did at Pendrago and pull us apart."

Sorey nods. He looks genuinely contrite. "Yeah… you're right Rose. I'm sorry I never said anything."

"Same here," says Mikleo.

"Yeah, I guess," says Edna.

"I owe you an apology, too." Lailah breaks her silence to raise her head from the inventory she's been suffering over. "Once again, I realise I've focused more on the Shepherd's duty than the Shepherd and his companions themselves. Things would never have become as bad as they did at Pendrago if I'd been more vigilant. Please, Rose, could you have it in your heart to forgive me?" She wrings her hands, and Rose reaches across the space to squeeze her soft palm.

"S'okay, Lailah," she says, and her mouth quirks up in a smile. "I do, humbly, accept your contrition." She raises Lailah's hand to her mouth to plant a kiss upon it, and watches their prime lord turn into a blushing, stuttering mess. Sorey is laughing and she distinctly hears Mikleo snort, and the tension hanging between them all melts away.

Maybe not today, but everything is going to be okay.

"Right. Onto our next plan of action," Rose says. "I propose a detour before we head to the wind shrine. I think we should take a quick sidetrip back to Hyland."

"What for?" Mikleo asks.

She points a finger at Sorey, who blinks. " _You're_ going to demonstrate what you've learned. I want you to talk to Alisha."

He presses a finger to his chin. "Talk to Alisha… wait, about Lady Maltran? Is that a good idea? She's going to be upset."

Lailah clears her throat. "Rose is right, Sorey. She deserves to know. If we don't say anything now, it's only going to be harder for her later."

"I agree," says Edna. "She's so gullible I convinced her the squirrelcarena was an ancient and holy seraph ritual. If we don't do anything, Maltran's going to stick her in the back while we're not around."

"You can't save the world and protect everyone from their feelings," Rose says. "If you respect Alisha, you'll trust her enough to tell her."

Slowly, Sorey nods. "You're right… it'll be hard on her, but she ought to know."

"Should we tell Dezel and let him know about the change of plans?" Mikleo asks.

Rose rolls her eyes. "I'm sure he'll come wriggling after us, regardless."

Maybe by the time they'd taken the detour and got to the wind shrine, he would even have stopped mooning after her like a pathetic lost puppy. She could decide then whether she wanted to speak to him again, or not.


End file.
